I can allow that action to take over, to be guided by the action. It is slow and the necessary placement of bone, muscles, fluids are understood. When I am physical, collecting the horizon (as it is called) in Qi gong, I partake in an action that I know. My thoughts and my action of placing my thoughts on the page are happening at the same speed, one does not precede the other. Right now, letting the words flow from my fingertips I feel no responsibility. There is a third party that jumps into the mix every once in a while, when the leader and follower are undifferentiated, as if you are both being lead by a higher power, or maybe you are so in tune with one another that you are both able to lead and follow simultaneously.įlow - when you do not need to take responsibility, you do not need to be in control, you do not need to lead the way, and this state can be found on your own. In a healthy relationship there is an eb and flow, a somewhat steady balance between the two. Their are moments in which you are leading, and there are moments of being lead. M: you can rest when you connect to the flow. You talked about connecting with the earth below and the universe above and then you said something that makes sense, L: when somebody else is taking a shower, tuning into a steady sound. Now is the time to stay up long nights writing. With ever sentence the finish line is farther away then before. With every word I am closer to the finish line. The kinetic energy that splays before me. You cut me short if you think that you are my desired audience.Įverything sits at theprecipice of this empty sheet. Or maybe they already have, either way really. First she spins a sticky little nest, injecting the cotton candy with her spawn. There is a spider that lays her eggs in between to planks of wood. This is an avoidance of cleanliness and yet it is very precise. Freedom is nostalgia - beauty and carefree love, as if it were attainable for some and not for others. It's not a narrative, I don't want sentimentality, I don't want a story that reminds us of the unattainable potential. Anne Carson is not a spiritual leader, but her thoughts are present. I don't want to speak because I am always being spoken to, and yet there is plenty to say. There is a simple need to be gentle in my aggression, to be careful in my hate, to be glutinous in my sexy, to withdraw in my identity. She, mom, is somewhat of a guru, spiritual leaders are always girls, and I don't mean woman. There is no chronology or order of events in the horizontal connectivity of my thoughts.
It's not just, as it exists outside of time.